If Your Find Me by Emily Murdoch

Taken from Waterstones.com:
"What happens in the woods, stays in the woods... For almost as long as she can remember, Carey has lived in a camper van in the heart of the forest with her mother and little sister, Jenessa. When her mother disappears, Carey's father arrives and everything changes. Suddenly Carey and Jennessa must adapt to the wider world of family, school and boys. But Carey feels trapped by a terrible secret. If she tells, it could destroy her future. If she doesn't, will she ever be free?"

I wasn't sure what to expect of this book. The cover of the arc I received looked like it might be a horror story (which in some ways it is as it's definitely one of nightmares) but the finished cover looks a little more friendly.

It's set in the real world, one that is a parent's worst nightmare. I don't want to say too much more about the plot because the way this book is written is very powerful and so I wouldn't want to ruin this effect by giving out any spoilers. Murdoch handles the subject matter very sensitively though and writes it incredibly well. It was heartbreaking getting to know Carey and Jenessa and finding out the details of their lives - there were places where Carey is revealing part of her history that made tears fall down my cheek. They are both incredibly strong and vivid characters and Jenessa is absolutely adorable - I couldn't help but feel love for her and Shorty. At first I thought the lack of the letter g at the the end of -ing words was going to irritate me but I soon found myself being sucked into the book and only experiencing them as part of Carey's accent. When I say sucked into the book I really mean it. I got so involved in the plot so quickly that I really struggled to put it down at the end of my fifteen minute break. This book isn't one that has a teen romance as the main focus which makes a nice and refreshing change (there is a slight interest but its definitely a minor focus and is more about friendship).

I've finally figured out the pattern between all of these traumatic books that linger with you. It's not just the terrible events that haunt the reader but the authors often choose to leave part of the story unfinished and so you are left wondering what happened to the characters after the book finished. This is exactly the tool that Murdoch uses and it is brilliant as I haven't stopped thinking about Carey all day.

A quick note on the content: there are sexual abuse and drug references which are essential to the plot and so this book is definitely not one that is suitable for younger readers.

Overall, this is a brilliant, if traumatic, read. One that is filled with powerful and heart-wrenching emotion. It is one of those books that has great crossover appeal to adults too.

I give it 9/10 :)

Title: If You Find Me
Author: Emily Murdoch
Publisher: Indigo
Teenage Fiction